One biggest truth in the world is majority of people depend too much on people’s opinion which is called validation. Attention-seeking behaviours are driven from the need to become the centre of attention. The motivation behind this behaviour is usually ego-driven, in which case, the attention serves as validation. And its normal when occasionally people need attention. But when we see people going out of their way of seeking attention and to gain recognition from others is a serious issue. It is indicative of deeper psychological problem such as low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, insecurity etc. If a person feels that his thoughts, feelings, and emotions are not heard and understood, he may be left feeling isolated and unsupported. This, over a period, may trigger bigger psychological issues.
Our emotions are our responsibility. None is responsible for how we feel. The moment we depend on how others treat us; we give others an opportunity to control us.
The earlier we realize that other people’s opinions about us is none of our business, it is good for our own mental health. People can dislike us for our looks, our dressing, what we eat, how we walk, how we speak, what we eat…. the list is big. But then can we please them? Some will hate you because you remind them of their annoying relationship with someone who resembles you.
Best-selling author and podcast host Mel Robbins has gone viral after advertising the ‘let them’ theory; it is a technique for letting go of things beyond your control. The motivational speaker, who is an expert in confidence and motivation, spoke about the life-changing mindset hack on Instagram. She says life is wild and filled with ups and downs, often leaving us wondering: “do we have control over any of this?” The “Let Them” Theory is a law of detachment. A practice that can help us to manifest our desires.
Our worrying about what others think of us stems from the fear that we may be deprived of friends or confidence. This fear can, be useful sometimes – embarrassment and shame can motivate us to behave in a more respectful or appropriate manner, increasing the chances of others accepting us.
But when you know yourself well in terms of your temperament, your strengths, values, knowledge, likes and dislikes, you feel freer and stronger. People constantly change because they misjudge themselves, they cannot resolve conflicts with their own self. Knowing your top core values is like having a brighter torch to get your path through the woods. A duller light may still get you where you need to go, but you will stumble more or be lost. The torch means your self-confidence, your energy, and your happiness.
It is better to accept that no matter what I do some people will never like me. No matter what I do some people will always like me. Both ways, it has nothing to do with me. And it’s none of my business.
Confidence helps us feel ready for life’s experiences. When we are confident, we are more likely to move forward with people and opportunities. And if things don’t work out at first, confidence helps us try again. We cannot force others to see us the way we want to be seen. We can only control our own thoughts and actions.
“Let Them” theory personifies the law of detachment, allowing the natural flow of life to go on. It is to get free from the chains of expectation or controls laid by others. The beauty of this theory is that it helps pave the way for the manifestation of our desires, unblocked by the pressure of needing to be control by others. The most important element is recognizing that we can only control our actions and reactions. We must STOP expecting validations for our actions and the circumstances that unfold.
