Empathy and sympathy are two terms that are often used interchangeably. But only one of them allows people to connect deeper than surface level that is empathy. According to the American Psychology Association Dictionary of Psychology, the definitions of sympathy and empathy are as follows:
When we sympathize with someone’s unfortunate situation, we feel bad for them. We have thoughts and feelings about what they are going through but we don’t have a deep understanding of how they are feeling. Empathizing with someone’s circumstances means we are taking the time, effort, and mental space to fully appreciate and understand how they feel. Empathy is a regularly used, but poorly understood, concept. It is confused with related words such as sympathy, pity, mercy, understanding etc. In older times, in my individual childhood and youth it was common practice, we younger people would pay respect to older people and kids, if a neighbour or known person required help, we would rush to help. Wishing pleasantries was common etiquette then. These small deeds kept a community unified and safe. We were more empathetic. Somehow, I cannot use words just to sympathise with somebody. I hate lip sympathy which is expressed in words but that is not shown in actions.
The term “attention seeker” is often used to refer to someone who constantly wants and actively seeks sympathy from others. This behaviour can be evidently seen in various ways, such as constantly sharing personal problems, amplifying difficulties, or using emotional manipulation to gain sympathy. And we see drama of some people who sympathise for the sake of lip sympathy.
When we practice empathy, we dive into the depth of other’s emotions and imagine ourselves in their situation. It is not about how we feel about their experience but rather we are putting ourselves in their shoes, imagining going through what they’re going through and feeling their emotions.
Empathy is shown in how much compassion and understanding we can give to another. Sympathy is more of a feeling of pity for another. Empathy is our ability to understand how someone feels while sympathy is our relief in not having the same problems. Expressing sympathy can seem like saying, ‘I am sorry for you,’ ‘I wish I could do something for you,’ ‘God’s not ben fair with you’ etc…etc. But expressing empathy feels more like, I understand what you are going through, I want to help you, tell me what can I do for you?
Although both words are used in situations that involve emotions, they cannot be used interchangeably as they have different meanings. The main difference between sympathy and empathy is how we express and experience our emotions toward someone’s situation.
For instance, if your friend tells you that their dog recently passed away, you sympathize by saying “I’m sorry for your loss.” But if you empathize, you will imagine yourself losing a beloved pet and feeling the grief and loss that come with that experience.
Uninvited Advice vs. Active Listening: When people empathise, they listen carefully, they understand the problem and try to plug it. Sympathizing does not involve feeling emotions; therefore, when we hear about someone’s problem, we immediately feel the urge to fix it because we pity them. We start giving unsolicited advice, without going in depth of someone’s problem. It is easier to advise or give solution rather than validate someone’s experiences. While empathising, we connect deeply to other’s experience. We ask questions to understand, we practice active listening, read their facial expressions and body language and behave sensitively to their needs.
According to Edith Stein, a German phenomenologist (who studies phenomena), empathy can be facilitated. It also can be interrupted and blocked, but it cannot be forced to occur. Why is empathy so unique? According to Stein, empathy happens to us; it is indirectly given to us, it is elemental. When empathy occurs, we find ourselves experiencing it, but we cannot directly cause it to happen to us. This is the characteristic that makes the act of empathy exceptional and therefore it cannot be taught. Instead, promoting attitudes and behaviours such as self-awareness, tolerant, positively regard others, good listening skills, and self-confidence are suggested as important in the development of empathetic attitude. A lot of willingness is required in a person to develop empathetic approach.
The world today needs empaths, but only 1 to 2 percent of the population can feel and absorb the emotions surrounding them. An empath is like a sponge that absorbs the people’s problems and takes them as his or her own. Empaths have a higher sensitivity to certain people, places, or sounds. Empaths try to help others wholeheartedly.
