Why should we lead our lives the way society dictates? Great question! On various platforms we discuss this fact with reference of the profound work done by sociologists for hundreds of years.
It is quite difficult to live life in our own exclusive way, with no external laws, mandates, cultural norms, or otherwise and influential entities. Most of us are used to follow the societal rules and regulations and we feel secured that way.
But, we often see people who do live their own lives the way they want, they prodigiously live their lives without bothering for society dictates. They sometimes even rebel against societal norms and are happy with their own selves. While most of us crave for acceptance from people around us, there are few who have an almost irrefutable mandate to live their lives according to their own feelings and self-made norms. I like to mention here Kangana Ranaut’s free spirited Tanu from the film ‘Tanu weds Manu’. She is fearless and carefree. Non-fussy and lovable. Straight-forward and easy going. No wonder Manu falls for her and decides that if he ever marries, he will marry Tanu.
In my own personal journey of trying to be a better person, I realized that it was all about aiming to be happy. Nothing more, nothing less. When you are happy, you are effectively better in every aspect of your life. The second realization which came to me is that happiness comes from detaching the redundant things in life, as in you need to stop caring about certain things. You don’t have to be rude and hurting someone to be yourself. It’s simple you think that what others think of you is their problem, not yours. You don’t get influenced by other people’s opinions and prefer to make your own. That’s great!
Tackle the toxic people: It’s not that these people are physiologically toxic, but mentally they are. They like to create drama in their lives or be surrounded by it; they try to manipulate or control others; they use others to fulfill their needs; they gossip unnecessarily, badmouth people in their absence; they are jealous and envious of others, lamenting their bad fortune and others’ good fortune; in short they are dangerous people to be with. They sap your good energy. If you can’t avoid them, keep them at a healthy distance. Best is dump them. It’s time to create a positive environment for yourself.
Happy people gain happiness from simple things around them; they enjoy the simplicities of life. This is an amazing aspect which most people overlook. If you’re feeling unhappy, take a look around. Sometimes it’s the people that are just dragging you down. People who want to be happy don’t expect anything in return from others; they let go of anything in return. That’s how they never get disappointed. They do things for the sake of doing things. Help others for the sake of being compassionate. They feel nice about added positivity in other’s lives. Cheerful people don’t cry over spilt milk. They just don’t see logic in brooding over past issues. You see loneliness doesn’t kill people who choose to be happy; they stay contended in their own company. Great philosophers have said that if one can stay happy in his own company, you need not worry about other things. In fact, it’s scary to be left alone. People can’t live alone….they look for company of someone. We don’t realize that that the ‘me time’ that is spending time with your own self is very important.
Another thing is can you leave your work, status, complaints and achievements in your office and not carry it along with you everywhere? If you don’t, it’s going to percolate into your everyday life and you’d end up feeling tired, bored or stressed out. What matters more is your happiness, your passion and outlook on life. If you are allowing your job to take over any of that would only mean you are terribly concerned and are allowing a label to define who you are. Think about it – you are something more than your professional label. You are limiting your identity.
Travel, break away from your monotonous life. Breathe fresh air, see new places. Get absorbed in the new city, new place. See the heritage sites, visit the beaches, gardens, forests, see the magnificent architecture, monuments there is so much to see in this beautiful world! Stop stressing over petty things. Be sure of what you want to do, stop taking other people’s opinions too seriously. Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you might realize that you could have been happier.
