Is it necessary to give each relationship in our life a name or a tag? As in ‘friend’, ‘uncle’, ‘aunt’, ‘guru’, ‘senior’, ‘junior’, ‘cousin’ ‘enemy’, etc, etc. Sometimes we meet people whom we love for several reasons; those reasons are understood only by our heart. Some relations cannot be described, they are felt. And such relationships can only be experienced they don’t need to be given names. But the irony is that we go out of our way to tag our relationships for the sake of societal pressure. In reality most times no rapport exists between two people; fake promises, fake smiles do not build a bond. Everything is just being faked to just keep up a tag of relationship.
Feelings are the conscious experience of emotional reactions. They cannot be tagged appropriately. We stain our bonding by labelling it as a relationship. Sometimes, two people are drawn to each other but their relationship has no name. By giving a label to a relationship we start expecting reactions and responses just to conform to the norms of the label set in. Because of social media, I have met few faces whom I have not tagged with any relation, but, I know they are nice people. Those untagged relations enable enjoying presence of those people in life, thought on the social media.
In spiritual journeys, the word realization denotes the feeling of oneness with the Universe. A realized person is in love with everything and everybody. No label is helpful to describe that state of mind. It is an experience to be cherished. No words can capture that experience. It is better to love someone whom you do without any kind of tag because these kinds of relations tend to live longer than the tagged relationships.
What is a tag and how it’s relevance changes? Most of the tags are not understood by the any generation. What can be done here? In order for people to understand the various tags, you need to come out and explain. Putting a label is the expectations of others. It may be liberating and exciting for not putting a name to the relationship or even your own life choices. But it is better to express the fact and explain people who care for you the meaning of the label. For example, we call unknown people ‘bhaisab’, ‘bhabhiji’, ’beta’….why?
The relationships nowadays are ‘make or break’ in jiffy! Thus I feel is it not important to test the waters before putting a tag on it? We do not want to rush into anything and would rather go with the flow. We would like to recognize how we are feeling before jumping into the fashion of a labelling. When the relationship is more in a secure phase, maybe then it can be labelled.
In any relationship, it is important that there is clarity from the beginning. Youngsters just jump right into the relationship without clarifying any rules. Where the relationships are concerned, there should be always set boundaries. It’s better to express how you feel and what you would do and what you must not. It is always the clarity that makes a relationship grow stronger.
What I am trying to say is expressed aptly and beautifully in a song about eternal nature of love, which blossoms and is unhurt when it is unnamed. It is one of the most famous songs sung by Lata Mangeshkar “humne dekhi hai un aankhon ki mehekati khushbu” the song is penned by the genius Gulzar in the movie Khamoshi (1969) based on a Bengali short story by Ashutosh Mukherjee. The song is composed by Heman Kumar.
We invest our emotions in some relationships without thinking about where the relationship would lead, without thinking about end results and such relationships are most beautiful ones. When we go with the flow, without thinking pros and cons, at times it just leads to a great journey. The labelling or the tags are just to portray ‘’meaning’’ to the society and such relations get restricted in a framework. I conclude the passage by saying “no tag is the best tag.”
