Nostalgia is defined with variation these days. It was once considered a medical condition similar to homesickness. The word derives from the Greek “nostos” (return) and “algos” (pain), suggesting suffering due to a desire to return to a place of origin. But, lately nostalgia is considered to be an independent and even positive emotion that many people experience often. We all experience nostalgia sometimes – some fragrance reminds of a near and dear’s   scent; a tune on radio reminds of some happy moment in a party; a road reminds of a beautiful travel yes, it brings back happy memories. Nostalgia is said to have many functions, but those functions have not truly been defined or explicitly stated. Several research articles have determined some of these meanings of nostalgia: improved mood, increase social connectedness, enhanced self esteem, and increased confidence. Many nostalgic manifestations serve more than one function at a time, and overall seem to benefit those who experience them. As time and research has moved on, evidence suggests that, if used in moderation, nostalgia is good psychological medicine.

Nostalgia does have its painful side as well:  it’s a bittersweet emotion but the net effect is to make life seem more meaningful and death less frightening. When people speak thoughtfully of the past, they typically become more optimistic and inspired about the future. I suppose every experience has something to teach us. You will see so many people around you who loves to tell the stories of when they scored the final touchdown in that championship games; they like to talk about how they met their life partners; how they got their jobs; how their children were naughty so on and forth. Is that person you? Still digging in the past?

This is a subject many psychologists are thinking these days. Nostalgia, compared to control conditions, increases self-esteem as well as perceptions of meaning in life. By allowing people to revisit cherished life experiences, nostalgia boosts positive self-image and promotes the feeling that life is full of meaning and purpose. Nostalgia increases perceptions of social connectedness. Nostalgia is therefore good psychological medicine.

When people grow nostalgic, they become happier. For example, in the psychology session, when people are asked to reflect on experiences, objects, or songs from the past that they are nostalgic about, positive mood increases. This makes sense because when we analyze the content of people’s nostalgic episodes we find that they are mostly positive. In fact nostalgia is more than just a mood boost though. It also increases self-esteem and perceptions of meaning in life. This explains the championship game story phenomenon. Many nostalgic experiences are connected to personal accomplishments and momentous life events. Life is not a series  of one success after another. Our daily existence can often be tedious and sometimes depressing. Using nostalgia, we can inject some meaning and excitement into life. Nostalgia involves conjuring up the experiences that stick out as worthwhile and fulfilling.

Nostalgia fosters feelings of belongingness: Nostalgia isn’t just about the self. It is also about our relationships. When people engage in nostalgia, they feel more connected to others. For example, one study finds that most nostalgic episodes are social and having people engage in nostalgia makes them feel close to and loved by others. The past experiences, objects, movies, and music we love are often anchored in social contexts and thus remind us that we are able to form and maintain relationships and that people do care about us.

So when are we most nostalgic? Based on many researches, it’s observed that people turn to nostalgia in situations that cause negative mood, solitude, and meaninglessness. Nostalgia can be directly induced by providing consumers with products they are nostalgic for (e.g., 80s-inspired clothing, music, and toys). However, it is when we are psychologically vulnerable or threatened that we naturally turn to nostalgia.

So next time you feel a little down and alone, try nostalgia. Don’t be ashamed of your nostalgic instincts. Rewind your memories of school days, first love, championship, terror movie, and little fights, everything that brings a smile on your face. You are reaping the psychological rewards of being in touch with your past.

You don’t have to be a trained singer to sing songs. You can start singing now, at this moment. Sing tunes which you have liked. You can be of any age and gender, sing to be happy. And, do you know, singing is a good exercise for your lungs?  It is good for your mind and body. It is good for breathing. A research which is  first of its kind was carried out at the Royal Brompton Hospital in London on the topic “Singing for breathing “which has proved that singing can improve our lungs condition and can make them stronger.

So, just don’t bother whether you are good, bad or terrible singer, sing for the love of your lungs.  It tones up our intercostals muscles and our diaphragm. It can improve our sleep. It decrease muscle tension. Our facial muscles get toned. Our posture improves. We can become more mentally alert. The advantages are many. So sing for the benefits.

Do you know ‘singing for the brain’ is a service provided by Alzheimer’s Society which uses singing to bring people together in a friendly and stimulating social environment? People come together and start singing some old, new or nostalgic tunes. Singing is not only a pleasant activity; it can also provide a way for patients to recover from dementia.  So, people with great careers but suffering from dementia come together to express them and socialize with others is a fun and the activity develops supportive group.

Music helps the sinuses and respiratory tubes to open up to breathe in more oxygen. It releases pain relieving endorphins from glands. Our immune system is given a boost enabling us to fight disease. It gives vent to stacked-up emotions this reduces anger and depression and anxiety. In Parkinson’s disease it helps the patients regain strength and balance. Music is a medicine for so many diseases and symptoms. It has positive effect even on plans and animals.

Singing fortifies health, widens culture, purifies the intelligence and enriches the imagination. Music is the universal language for happiness. It endows life with an added appetite. Sing while taking shower, sing while cooking, stitching, cleaning your house, while gardening. Hum loudly it makes a positive effect. Sing along with the radio, it not only stirs the deepest emotions, but if you actively sing it increases your vigor. Singing increases poise, self-esteem and also presentation skills. So next time when you hear somebody suffering from asthma or COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, an umbrella term that includes emphysema and chronic bronchitis) suggest them singing; it cures the symptoms to great extent. And to avoid any lung problems in future, start singing now.

But, sadly everyone in the world does not like music. They are identified with a new psychological phenomenon termed “specific musical anhedonia” which refers to the reduced ability to experience pleasure from music, specifically due to some odd wiring in the centres of the brain. Researchers have found that between 1 and 3% of people don’t enjoy music of any kind. These people are not tone deaf or incapable of grasping the emotional meaning of a song; their brain simply does not find listening to music rewarding. This happens due to some psychiatric disorders are associated with the loss of the ability to enjoy music and feel pleasure of music.

But, the rest of world must thank the creator for giving us the ability to enjoy music, our ability to listen, and our ability to grasp meaning of the songs. Sing for yourself, sing for your friends, and sing for your heart and lungs.  Enjoy music.

In our life, we often feel intimidated by others. Many people make us nervous. This covers a whole gamut of personalities ranging from some rich and famous, higher ups at work, love interests, some highly qualified people, politicians, people we don’t know at parties, popular people from society, our professors, some renowned professionals and celebrities. It’s very natural to feel intimidated occasionally. It pushes us to become better person. It happens often due to our imaginative gap we see between people we look up to and self. Some such people can bring up feelings we harbor about ourselves that we are not good enough, striking enough, interesting enough, intelligent enough or many more deficiencies.

Have you ever thought that many people must be getting intimidated by you? Your behavior, your mannerism might be misunderstood by many. Shyness is misunderstood as aloofness all the time. Silence is misunderstood as snobbishness; similarly chattiness is misunderstood as gossiping, getting emotional everyone and then is misunderstood as drama queen/king. A very successful doctor – an acquaintance of mine who appears aloof confided in me in one of the parties over a drink that he somehow can’t liberate from his shyness and he thoroughly enjoys when people interact with him. When I told him that he comes across as an aloof person he was astonished as it is just the opposite of his intent; in fact he looks forward to chat and interact with people. Sometimes, if we make the first social move and say hello, we might be wiping out two people’s nerves.

I think everyone feels a little uneasy and off-balanced when they’re around that handful of people who just seem to have everything going for them. They may be really outgoing as well, which can add in all the problems from the point above. You will find their intimidating impression shrinks when you just have more experience with them. When you get used to them, start seeing them as normal people, you will learn firsthand that they too have flaws and quirks and insecurities like everyone else. And, this might improve your own confidence and social skills. You then see these people as closer to your level, rather than them being on a pedestal and your feeling you’re a walking example of lame, awkward unworthiness that’s lucky to even be talking to them.

I would add here a very well managed movie ‘English Vinglish’ which is the story of Shashi, a woman who doesn’t know English and is intimidated by her family and society at large. The film though light-hearted is about the touching and transformational journey of Shashi. Circumstances make her resolute to overcome this insecurity, master English language, teach the world a lesson on the way to becoming a self assured and confident woman.

And, don’t we all believe in stereotypes about looks, styles, mannerisms, eating, drinking, about certain subgroups positive as well as negative. Many times we group religion, races or individuals together and make a judgment about them without knowing them; this is a pattern of a stereotype. Racial remarks, sexual remarks, and gender remarks are the biggest stereotypes. A common stereotype about Asians is that they are good at math and that all Asians like to eat rice and drive slow. Another example is that Irish like to get drunk and they love eating potatoes. And commonest of all is that all boys and men mess up their surroundings and girls are not good at sports. Most stereotypes probably tend to convey a negative impression.

We all want to consider ourselves as liberal, progressive, open-minded citizens of the world while we sometimes subtly act on negative stereotypes about certain groups without giving much importance to it. At University, someone who comes from rural area may feel nervous around young stylish men and women speaking fluently and without any hesitation. Someone may feel a little hesitant to try to be friendly to the Chinese students, because of a negative stereotype going around campus that they’re all selfish and aloof and only associate with each other. I know many people who feel very insecure about their educational qualifications. It is either because their love of education and not having so many degrees.

When someone is intimidated by really outgoing people it’s that they’re worried about having to talk to them and feeling really besieged about feeling that they won’t be able to keep up or know what to say. Let me tell you the moment we think that we won’t be able to converse freely and we might fall short of words trust me that’s what happens. If we’re inhibited, we may assume everyone is constantly looking for a reason to review our flaws. Some people come across as snobby and judgmental without intending to as well.

I think we need to face our fear and just get more used to talking to people we feel intimidated by. We must try to analyze our intimidation. The first time might be tough, but once we get used to talking to them asking question, conversing with them freely the fear evaporates.

I have seen sometimes more of a problem for young adults when they’re still in high school, where all kinds of students are mixed together and they run into some very intelligent, dull, whacky, flamboyant, argumentative, foul mouthed, cheater, sober all sorts of students. It sometimes becomes difficult for peace loving and sober students to fit in a class of tough guys. Once someone has moved on to college or the work world they usually don’t run across as many tough guys. The fear in the work world is that these people are dangerous loose cannons who may kick your ass at any second. This world is more political and full of bias where you face sweet tongued people who say something and do something in contrast.

Some men don’t feel comfortable hanging out with other guys. They find them to be too macho, destructive, cutting in their humor, or impulsive. They may feel that way because they got picked on as a kid, or because they never really felt like they fit the male stereotype. Some women feel the same way and see other females as being too catty, girly, backstabbing, or dramatic, among other things. This is another area where some childhood experience can take the intimidating edge.

We all are product of our subconscious mind; we are what we think. If we think we are unsafe, we are going to remain unsafe till end. If we see someone as threat, the person will surely turn out be a threat. You can take back your power by just changing the way you see yourself. When you learn to see yourself perfectly, you will feel safe in any condition. Don’t care too much what others think of you. Other people can think you are a terrible, stupid, poor, ugly person. But,   does this change what you actually are? You are born with a purpose; understand that purpose, there is no reason to feel threatened by anyone, because in reality they can’t hurt you. Occasionally spend time on yourself – deep down you are an amazing, complete, secured, beautiful and good enough. Off and on you might experience some storms they will come and go. You are matchless, one-of-a-kind soul on a journey of learning and growth. Your value cannot be questioned – your value is infinite and absolute.