We all love one spot in our house which gives us solace after the hustle-bustle of the day. In this place we can be truly ourselves, without bothering about how we are dressed, how we look etc. For me this space is a tiny corner in my home where I have placed a tiny sofa-cum-bed and a stand for placing Alexa for listening to my favourite songs, I sit on my sofa with a pillow for my comfort. This is the place where I can be completely cut off from the maddening world and spend some “me-time”.

The “me-time” helps my busy brains to unplug and unwind. It relieves my stress because of negative thoughts, it helps me to strengthen my plans and strategies for the following days and most importantly it helps sleep better. The me-time gives me more control to handle my moods, increases my patience level, and helps me to live in the moment. I sit in my favourite spot with a mug of hot tea.  Drinking tea energizes me.   I simply enjoy pouring myself a cup of tea, especially at the end of a tiring day. I also like listening to music while sipping it. I believe it is a perfect combination for relaxation. No thoughts, no worries; just tea, music, and me.

Resting here, I can be cut off from the outside world. It allows me to relax and rejuvenate, while calming my stressed nerves after a stressful day. I am a diarist (I write my diary daily).  I love writing my diary while sipping my tea while listening to calming music. These days I concentrate on the lyrics of a song because the lyrics resonate with me.

My favourite spot is near a large window. In rainy season, I watch the rains, daily I enjoy the soft glow of the setting sun, I read daily newspaper, a good book for as long as I want to, without any interruptions. The evening time sooths me because I can listen to the chirping of the birds flying back to their nests. At times I meditate by chanting my favourite prayer.  This is my private retreat that just lets me be who I am and my solitude. 

So why do these corners or spots end up being our favourite? It is because we are most relaxed here. As humans, we have the innate ability to build a bond with even inanimate things, and we develop a bond with the corner we love. I admit that I am so sensitive about that one corner that I don’t like to share it anyone else.

I believe my favourite spot has vibes, sometimes that energy is easily felt.  I change the sofa cover regularly, water the small indoor plats regularly, I open the window for fresh air, thus I keep my favourite spot clean and tidy. What I am today is because this spot has helped me grow through thick and thin.  

We all sensible people in world agree that good relationships are the foundation for success in all areas of our life. But, rarely do we realise that it begins with our relationship with our own self. If we do not love our own self completely with all the strengths and weaknesses by ensuring whether our own needs are met or not, we will find it difficult to accept others, love others and help out other around us.

Your relationship with yourself is arguably the most important relationship in life. Self-relationship is the foundation of everything else including philanthropy.  One’s relationship with oneself is crucial and needs to be built like many other relationships in life.  Healthy self-love is most essential. How you value yourself as a person, how you embrace yourself with all the good and the bad in you, your self-relationship, how much you trust yourself is very important in building your life and relationships with others in your life. Ironically, the most selfless thing you can do is to be self-cantered.

The time you spend with yourself is very important; spending time alone is actually a good thing for building your relationship with yourself. Some crucial studies have shown that having more me time has benefits such as increasing productivity, contentment, gratitude and empathy. It doesn’t matter what you do in that me time, as long as you are doing it alone. Please understand that me time does not mean trying to change the way we live our lives for other people. It means allowing ourselves to be truly seen for who we are. It means letting go of feeling that we have to be someone that we are not or trying to speak or act in a way that doesn’t feel affiliated for us.

Me time is a term which has been popularized by all forms of the media geared towards issues of female interest, more particularly in women’s magazines. The idea is that, amidst the stress of 21st century life, a woman finds it increasingly difficult to spend time which is exclusively for her and is not intruded upon by the non-stop demands of work and family. Me time, is a period of time when a woman can put herself first and do something that she particularly enjoys to aid relaxation and revival. This might be as simple as having a bubble bath, sitting down with a cup of tea, listening to some most precious songs, painting or drawing, or going on a trip to the gym or a weekend away. Though not used exclusively with reference to women, this term lies heavily in the female domain. But, it is also means equally the same for men.

The time a person has to himself or herself, in which to do something for his or her own enjoyment is refreshing. Unplug yourself, ban all electronics, social media, email and phone calls for a set amount of time, and instead read a book or magazine, go for a walk, or simply stare out the window and daydream.

Being alone can help you build mental strength. Solitude is important. Studies show the ability to tolerate alone time has been linked to increased happiness and improved stress management. People who enjoy alone time experience less depression. Can you imagine how many people are scared to live alone and therefore they cling on to wrong relationships? This is a fact.  

Me-time increases empathy. It increases your productivity.  Although many organizations offices have started creating open floor plans so everyone can communicate more easily, some studies show being surrounded by people kills productivity. People perform better when they are left alone in their privacy.

Me-time helps you to plan your life. It helps you to know yourself better. Being alone helps you become more comfortable in your own skin. When you are by yourself, you can make choices without outside influences. And that will help you develop better insight about who you are as a person. Start scheduling me-time as often as you can.

The word kapaalbhaati accurately means ‘skull-shining’.  Kapaal meaning skull and bhati means shining.  Regular practice of kappalbhaati reduces stress while helping to calm the mind. Over a period one develops a healthy natural glow on the face.

Kapalbhati is not difficult; it can be practiced by novice yoga practitioners also.  One can learn it within 2-3 instructional sessions from a good yoga teacher. One needs to focus on exhalation.  Inhalation should be normal whereas the exhalation should be made with force. The force should be equivalent to what the individual can manage repetitively while exhalation. It has great relaxing and physical benefits. But, most practitioners perform kapalbhati for weight loss. It stimulates the respiratory system and the abdominal muscles, helping one tone out abdomen muscles which also helps improve body tone. Kapalbhati clears the respiratory passages which minimize risks of infections and allergies in the respiratory system. Due to the vigorous breaths of kapalbhati, the allergens and the infectious materials in the lungs and the respiratory passages are blown away which help in cleaning the body.

The Kapalbhaati technique helps improve the flexibility of the diaphragm. Because of the breathing technique used for this yogic kriya, the diaphragm gets ample of exercise and it becomes suppler and improves capacity of the lungs. As the diaphragm becomes stronger and more flexible, the risk of developing hernias also reduces radically. This pranayama is very effective in curing stomach disorder, obesity, digestive disorder and many problems related to stomach.

Kapalbhati practice helps improve blood circulation, especially in the lower half of the body hence it helps improve the functioning of the entire body. The technique also helps in increasing the lungs capacity and improves respiratory efficiency because it making more oxygen available to the body. When more oxygen flows into the body, the tissues and cells become more able to perform the cleansing. While practicing this pranayam you can feel very energetic both physically and mentally. Your concentrations power increases and you feel less tired.

How to practice Kapalbhati?

1. Sit straight with your spine straight with crossed legs on floor.
2. Keep the right palm on right knee and left palm on left knee.
3. Take in a deep breath and exhale quickly and repetitively, making a hissing sound. Focus on exhaling powerfully and not on the inhalation.
4. When you exhale think that your disorders are coming out of your nose.
5. When you exhale, draw your abdominal muscles inward concurrently. Your abdomen should rise when you inhale and fold when you exhale.
6. Continue for 10 breaths and then take a break. Repeat the exercise two more times.

Kapalbhati is described as the cure-all remedy available to mankind that works by balancing all bodily functions. Please try with every exhalation your intention for letting go of the unwanted emotions such as anger, disgrace, low confidence, jealousy, resentment etc. You will experience more clarity and peace. Since it works on the Heart Chakra (Anahat Chakra) and associated organs and systems of that region, it improves respiration, lung capacity and blood circulation.  Kapalbhati thus helps cure associated diseases of this region such as asthma, bronchitis etc. It works on the Manipur Chakra also. The associated diseases of this region are – indigestion, gas, diabetes, etc.

Words of caution: the side effects of Kapalbhati:

While kapalbhati has many plus points to improve body tone and relaxed mind, it is not recommended for everyone. Experts believe that certain diseases and disorders may become intricate if kapalbhati is performed regularly and unsupervised. Kapalbhati is not recommended for people who suffer from cardiac problems, hernia and spinal disorders. In addition, those suffering from severe respiratory infections, colds and nasal obstruction should also not perform this breathing and cleansing technique. Physicians usually ask people suffering from high blood pressure and diabetes to refrain from performing kapalbhati. Those with abdominal ulcers should also avoid performing the technique. Therefore, it is advisable to consult your doctor before starting practice; please start it only after consultation with your doctor and a qualified yoga instructor. It is best to avoid performing it on your own. Please remember that though kapalbhati pranayama steps are usually very simple, please ensure that you perform it properly or you may end up hurting physically.

So when you have anger take a pause to resolve the anger within, it is destructive to your mental state. When you have doubt, do not rush; take a pause to think pros and cons. When you are tired, take a pause to refresh. If it is physical tiredness, it can be tackled by resting but it’s the mental tiredness that impacts both body and mind. When you are stressed, pause. The reasons for stress are different for everyone: students stress about studies, businessmen about profits, a person in job about performance, a housewife about house management, a sick person about sickness and after effects. Stress needs a longer pause to resolve the inner wound. And, even when then things are fine learn to take a pause. We take our strength for granted, our inner strength is so important, it should never be overlooked.

Pausing increases productivity, it does it miraculously. We feel fresh; we feel vital and beam with confidence after a good pause. Listen to the whispers of the soul, when it asks for a pause, take a pause. Sometimes you need to stop in order to get ahead. Pause to ask yourself what, how, when, whom, and why you are doing things; these questions can be tell exactly what you need in order to continue your progress. Other times, you may simply need a break to recharge and prevent exhaustion. If that occurs, you are going to spend a lot more time recovering than if you had taken a break in the first place.

So whenever you lag behind, press the pause button. If you are all times working on yesterday’s work, you will never be able to give time to today’s work, it’s time to take a pause and catch up. If you are experiencing monotony and feel your quality of work is reducing, pause.

Stephen Covey says in his book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” that sharpening the saw is an ongoing process of personal change. You need to define your own strengths and limits in life. We all have busy lifestyles; therefore it’s no surprise we have to insert a pause often to sharpen the saw. Time Management is the most required practice; we must make it part of our life. Our future success depends on how refreshed we feel to take up personal and professional responsibilities.

Learn to enjoy life and time with others: attend those functions where you can catch up with your friends.  We cannot force quality time with our loved ones until we really pause mentally and physically. Learn to pause to enjoy the time together. Put other things on hold while you spend time with your family. Most important take a pause before it becomes inevitable.