Human needs are a never ending series; no sooner one need is fulfilled, the other need arises and this is how man is always busy in struggling to fulfill one need after the other. Maslow felt that people keep on fulfilling their never-ending needs from birth till death which are distinct from rewards and unconscious desires.  In his theory of needs, self-actualization is placed at the peak of the pyramid. Self-actualization includes realizing personal potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth and peak experiences. Self-actualization leads to enlightenment which means letting go of self, and these people are desirous to promote welfare of others.

So how are self-actualized people different than others? They are reality oriented and they do not get threatened by the unknown. They have a great ability to see things as they are, they see the truth in a given circumstance. These people accept themselves, other people, circumstances and the natural world for what they are. They are able to learn from anyone and are friendly with anyone, with no regard to stereotypes such as education, class, gender, age etc. In fact they don’t believe in stereotypes. They are emotionally intelligent, without any guilt or embarrassment. They look peaceful because they let go of self, and they don’t really worry. I suppose, when a person is sure about his strengths he doesn’t need direction from others. They take the responsibility for themselves, and own their behavior. They take up causes in society and give their selves totally for the cause. In fact, self-actualized people start living for the cause without the need of enhancing their identity.

Nelson Mandela, the South African activist and former president helped bring an end to apartheid and was a global advocate for human rights. A member of the African National Congress party beginning in the 1940s, he was a leader of both peaceful protests and armed resistance against the white minority’s oppressive regime in a racially divided South-Africa. His actions landed him in prison for nearly three decades and made him the face of the anti-apartheid movement both within his country and internationally. As President Nelson Mandela donated half of his salary to poor children and when he received the Nobel Peace Prize he gave part of the prize money to help street children. Nelson Mandela not only wanted all children to feel loved, he tried his best to give them a better future. He wanted children to be given best opportunities to develop their talents.

Self-actualized people are composed and retain dignity amid confusion and personal misfortune, all the while remaining objective. They have a great deal of spontaneity and have no unnecessary inhibitions. The self-actualized person can be alone but he does not feel lonely. They are honest and seek justice for all. They are autonomous and independent. Thoughts and impulses are free by convention. Their ethics are self-directed and they determine their own inner moral standards.

Dr APJ Abdul Kalam – the Ex- President of India was a quintessence of a new India. Born in a humble Muslim family, he came from a small town, Rameshwaram in Tamil Nadu, through sheer determination and hard work, went on to become a missile scientist, then the Chief Scientific Adviser to the then Prime Minister. In 1998, he along with cardiologist Dr Soma Raju developed a low-cost coronary stent. It was later named ‘Kalam-Raju Stent’ in their honor.  Kalam was nominated for Youth Icon of the Year award by MTV in 2003 and 2006. His age was 73 and 76 respectively then. He motivated the youth of India because he truly believed that the nation’s future lies in their hands.  When Dr. Kalam first moved to Rashtrapati Bhawan, he asked all luxurious rooms to be locked up as he didn’t want to use them. He left this world doing what he did best, educating and inspiring students at the Indian Institute of Technology, Shillong.  He left behind a treasury of 2500 books, a wrist watch, 6 shirts, 4 trousers, 3 suits and a pair of shoes. He dint own any property, car, or any other assets. He lieterally travelled very light.

Self-actualized people live moment to moment and feel excited as they live their life to the full. Vibrant moments are frequent and peak experiences not unusual. Peak experiences are moments when one sees clearly what before was hidden or concealed. They seek wholeness.  Self-actualizing people retain their childlike qualities and yet have a farsighted wisdom.

I see a personification of affectionate care taker in the living legend in Maharashtra, Sindhutai Sapkal who devoted her entire life for orphans. As a result she is fondly called ‘Mai'(mother). She has nurtured over 1050 orphaned children. As of today, she has a grand family of 207 son-in-laws, 36 daughter-in-laws and over 1000 grandchildren. She still continues to fight for the next meal of orphans. Many of the children whom she adopted are well-educated lawyers and doctors, and some, including her biological daughter, are running their own independent orphanages. Sindhutai Sapkal started her life journey from the streets. At the age of ten she was married to a man with the age difference of 20 years. Her husband was a 30-year-old cattle-herder, who would often beat her for no reasons. At the age 20, she was deserted by her husband and thrown out of her house along with an infant baby girl. Sindhutai many times begged on streets to feed the orphans.  This great lady uses all the money she receives through charity in buying land, constructing homes and providing education for children.

Another example of a self-actualized person is librarian Kalyansundaram – a retired librarian of Kumarkurupara Arts College at Srivaikuntam in Tuticorin district. For this 73 years old philanthropist, humanity has been his guiding principle of life. Kalyansunderam holds a gold medal in library science; he also holds a master’s degree in literature and history. Throughout his 30 years long career, he conscientiously and willingly donated his salary month after month towards charity for paying fees of poor children and did odd jobs to meet his daily needs. Even after retirement, he works as a waiter in a hotel in exchange for two meals a day and a paltry salary. Even today, he continues to donate to children’s educational funds. He is hero because of his high moral character, value based living, and helping the humanity. He is living a simple life in spite of earning several monetary awards.  He has donated Rs.30 crores of prized money given to him by an American Organization as “Man of the millennium” and even after he retired as a librarian, he donated his pension of Rs. 10 lakhs!

Self-actualizing people enjoy an inborn uniqueness that carries over into everything they do. Swami Vivekananda said, “You cannot believe in God until you believe in yourself.” Does this mean that Vivekananda considered nonbelievers as people lacking self-belief? The statement by Swami Vivekanand was in light of his belief that only after a person has faith in himself and his beliefs can he have faith in God. Friends, Vivekananda was a self-actualized man himself.

As per dictionary, definition of the word beauty is the quality present in a person or thing that gives intense aesthetic pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind or the senses. Beauty is a quality, trait, attribute of a person, animal, place (destination), object or an idea of a person that provides perceptual experience of happiness or satisfaction. Beauty is studied as part of aesthetics in sociology, social psychology and culture. An “ideal beauty” is presented in form of perfection.

The understanding of beauty often engages an interpretation of some entity as being in balance and harmony with nature, which may lead to feelings of attraction and emotional well-being. Because this can be a subjective experience, it is often said that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. There is evidence that perceptions of beauty is evolutionarily defined firmly as all those things, aspects of people and landscapes considered beautiful are classically found in situations likely to give enhanced survival of the perceiving human’s genes. We find somebody or a place, a piece of art beautiful in a frame of mind and situation. What today we find beautiful need not appear beautiful a month later.  It’s the mind’s perception and observation is a mood and disposition.

A beauty pageant is a competition that has traditionally focused on the physical beauty of its contestants. Although, such contests have evolved features such as personality, intelligence, talent, and presence of mind to answer the judges’ questions as judged criteria. These criteria are sometimes uncanny, but are based on varied contexts known to judges alone. Beauty pageants are also held for men, children, animals called by other names.  The pageants try to depict an unattainable perfect image that is illusionary most of the times.

Winners of beauty contests are remembered for some time; they grow older and are forgotten. In my opinion when comparison of beauty and brain comes to last faze we all go with character because beauty stays for a period of time but character stands till we die. In the gracious sense we follow those persons who have a character. For example world follows M.K. Gandhi, Einstein, Lokmanya Tilak or Nelson Madela not for his looks, but for their character because character is a source to identify the qualities of a person. These men were not well built, muscular or broad shouldered handsome guys. They had brains not brawns to show off. As we know “face is the index of mind”, our beauty deeply depends on our thinking, behaviour, character, etc these are the works of our brain. What the command given by our brain is done through our body. So according to me, both beauty and brain go hand in hand.

Why is the world obsessed so much with beauty? Appearances are so deceptive. But, most men and women try to look beautiful /handsome. Men and women try to copy actors and actresses. So much money is spent on camouflaging original looks; people are ready to go under knives of plastic surgeons just to change their originality. If somebody is labeled as ‘beautiful’ ‘handsome’ or ’cute’ is close to the mirror out of ‘vanity’, but out of insecurity. We forget that there are drawbacks to being attractive. As they are under much greater pressure to maintain their appearance. Also, studies show that attractive people don’t benefit from the ‘bias for beauty’ in terms of self-esteem. They often don’t trust praise of their work or talents, believing positive evaluations to be influenced by their appearance.

Beauty and brain insolently go hand in hand in the sense that all intelligent people seem beautiful once we get to know them closely. And that is pleasant experience. One should be beautiful by brain i.e., beauty by thoughts not by physical beauty. I wish to quote here example of APJ Abdul Kalam. He is not handsome literally; but when you hear him, he is the most handsome man! Mother Teresa became the most beautiful woman because of her compassionate qualities.

“Looking for a slim, homely and fair girl for our son” – that is usually how most matrimonial ads read, the stress being on the word “fair” and “slim”. Many say it is proof of our obsession with a person’s skin colour. The cosmetic industry is growing in leaps and bounds because of our obsession with looks, colour and shape.

So with or without beauty success can be achieved or not is not an issue. If a person has talent then he can achieve his goals.

I think the Indian cinema – Bollywood grew with some intelligent actresses like Smita Patil, Shabana Azmi and Dipti Naval. Also some offbeat actors not very handsome in appeal but very intelligent guys like Nasiruddin Shah, Sanjiv Kumar and Faroqu Shaikh. They portrayed very complex characters on screen and off screen too they are/were intelligent, well read and gifted people. These and many other simple looking men and women have given some most astonishing masterpieces to the cinema world.

I am amazed with Smita Patil’s looks. Her half smile, her sense of wanting to belong, her wariness and her lack of pretence made her the most beautiful woman. The actor zapped thousands of her admirers even today with the awesome shades in her portrayals as Uma in Bhumika or Sulabha in Umbartha, her poignancy in Bazaar and the turbulence of Sonbai in Mirch Masala. Smita looks the gorgeous, sexy adivasi woman in Jait Re Jait.  In her movies, she beautifully blended her sensitive outer frailty with an inner strength to create an experience that would always be unforgettable for movie-goers. Her dusky complexion had many admirers as the country was beginning to break the stereotypical notions of beauty, and Smita Patil was the perfect example of an Indian beauty.

Can beauty be defined by age, gender, color, body shape or size? Who gets to decide? Multibillion-dollar beauty and fashion industries both shape and depend on the cult-like worship of what physical attributes the public sees as beautiful. And most men and women feel the effects of those decisions.

It is much easier and safer to be your original self. It does not cost, it does not hurt. All those humans are beautiful with the ability to laugh; there are so many funny things happening around. Life is funny and entertaining. Beautiful people are imaginative. Our human awareness, which also gives us the capacity for abstract thought, is our greatest gift, and yet so few of us ever fully use this trait. Beautiful people are spiritual; a belief and faith in something bigger than our existence is significant to living. Beautiful people are rebellious – ready to experiment with new thoughts and new approaches.

Human beings are able to perceive beauty in the way that one may perceive the perfection of the universe. If you consider perfection of universe, we are beautiful because we are a part of it, though we are also capable of creating and experiencing beauty in millions of different forms. Beautiful people don’t really fit in cultural norms; they are different and they are unique.

We cannot limit our lives. The world is an amazing yet unusually a creepy place. This world is flawed to a great extent. No institution can be trusted. Anything is possible, we all can be happy and fulfilled if we have the guts to be truly free and have the wisdom to shrink our egos and quit taking ourselves so damn seriously.