Bollywood actors Deepika Padukone and Ranveer Singh married as per South Indian traditions (Konkani wedding) in Italy’s Lake Como on Wednesday, 14th November 2018 afternoon in Italy and the couple will be taking their wedding vows according to Sindhi traditions on the next day. Deepika and Ranveer’s extremely private wedding happened in the presence of their families and close friends. Wedding ceremonies serve several purposes and they are often a cherished moment in a couple’s lives. A wedding ceremony is often utilized as a public display of marriage vows and of the couple entering into the marital contract. For most couples, the focus of the wedding ceremony, is on their commitment and love for each other.

The most important part of any wedding ceremony is the words utilized to proclaim never-ending love and appreciation between each unique couple. A wedding ceremony will include other elements, such as an offering of the love and support of family and friends present. In addition, a religious wedding ceremony helps couples commit their relationship to God (in temple, church, mosque).

Hindu marriages are based on age old traditions that have been translated into laws. According to traditions, a Hindu marriage cannot be reversed and is irrevocable. The modern day Hindu Marriage laws prohibit Polygamy or Polyandry. In India as well as most Hindu cultures across the world, arranged marriages are still the most preferred way of getting hitched. Consent and happiness of the families are of utmost important in Hindu culture as the marriage not only union of two souls, but also union of two families!

Even in this age of high-tech living, where life has become like a fast forward movie, wedding is still considered important to many people around the world. Most of the religious sectors view it as a necessary and sacred undertaking in order to adhere to their basic teachings. Christianity for example, has many wedding ceremonies that are practiced in every nation that believes in it. Muslims have their own traditions and practices also in celebrating wedding events. Although polygamous lifestyle is allowed by them, wedding is still an important event in the life of a Muslim believer.

In today’s world, we are witnessing many couples who live together without getting formally married. But, it is still not accepted wholeheartedly by the larger society. Couples say, we have accepted each other and are committed to each other. But, when you participate in a wedding ceremony, you’ll be asked to talk about your commitments. And your answer is always on the confirmatory. There are of course some exceptions like some couples who live under one roof and got married just for the sake of convenience.

You rarely see someone who is not excited about getting married. Most of the people are thrilled with the exception of those under pressure when their wedding was held. Wedding is one of the most important events in life of a person. It’s the start of a process in building a family. Wedding is the symbol of commitment and the foundation of your love to your partner. Building a warm home starts with choosing your partner for life. And this is officiated in a ceremony called wedding. A marriage rite is therefore important because it binds two people in a lifetime commitment.

Let’s look at different styles of wedding rites around the world:

In Congo it seems Congolese brides and grooms must keep their happiness in check; during their entire wedding day, from ceremony to reception, the two are not allowed to smile. If they do, it would mean they weren’t serious about marriage. Well, this is their custom. While most about-to-be married couples brim with excitement and eagerness, in this country the bride and groom have to present serious faces.

In China, a groom will shoot his bride with a bow and arrow several times then collects the arrows and breaks them during the ceremony, to ensure their love lasts forever. What would Cupid do?

In France, brides and grooms traditionally eat chocolate and champagne after the reception. But, do you know that they must consume these treats from a toilet bowl? The point is to give the twosome strength before their wedding night; unfortunately, if the bowls are not clean, it might give them something else.

In Fiji, when a man asks a woman’s father for her hand in marriage, he must present his future father-in-law with a whale’s tooth.

While in many brides-to-be in other countries go on strict diets to lose weight before the wedding. It is not so in Mauritius, where young girls are forced to pack on the pounds before their weddings. The chubbier she is the better for the husband who is thought to be wealthy with such a well-fed wife!

In Germany, the bride and the groom are supposed to do housekeeping ritual together. German brides and grooms clean up piles of porcelain dishes that their guests threw on the ground to ward off any evil spirits. The lesson: when the couple works together, they can face any challenge thrown their way.

Whereas in Scotland, the couple elopes! It seems centuries ago England restricted marriage for couples who were 21 and above. But that didn’t stop young lovers from finding a loophole, or to elope to a nearby Scottish town without such limitations. Today that village, Gretna Green, is still popular for couples who want to elope.

In Guatemalan, as wedding reception hosts, the parents of Guatemalan grooms can do whatever they want, including smash things. When the newlyweds arrive, it’s a tradition that the groom’s mom breaks a white ceramic bell, filled with grains like rice and flour, to bring prosperity to the couple!

So friends, a wedding ritual in any part of the world is performed to state a couple’s wedding vows and the love and support of their family and friends. Guests help to celebrate the couple’s commitment to each other. Wedding ideas and practices are rooted in historical practices. Most couples even today choose to hold a ceremony that is practiced in age-old style, while adding some individualized sentiment to the occasion. The most important part of a wedding ceremony is the vows between the bride and groom. The vows help couples to state publicly their commitment to the relationship.

The alarming divorce rates in some parts of the world make one wonder whether marriage is a dangerous endeavor? It is on increase even in lesser developed nations. Just for the sake of information, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, Maldives ranks highest in the world with 10.97 divorces per 1000 inhabitants per year. Maldives’ divorce rate is twice as high as second placed Belarus. A quick checklist for divorces goes like this: no trust in partner, increase in interference from other family members, no compromise from both partners, no respect for partner, communication gap, too much knowledge regarding the loopholes in law and a tendency to use it against partner, no guidance from elders and lack of coordination.

At some stage in a married couple’s life a time comes when they find it difficult to stay together. It is usually difficult to know what to do when a marriage has fallen into a rut. Spouses start disregarding each other, they try maintaining distance from each other, all this after investing their energy, emotions and time in their marriage.  Many times couples get stuck in shared finances, assets like a home, car, gold, land etc because they build their lives around the partnership. Can divorce really help people in resettling in their lives?

Sometimes the issue is best addressed with a realistic approach: simply by evaluating the advantages of staying together versus the advantages of staying apart. There is a lot to consider above and beyond how married couples feel about each other. They’re likely to have shared friends, in-laws whom they’ve grown close to; perhaps they’ve become used to moving in similar social circles throughout the time that they’ve been together. If they have children together then this, of course, is a major factor to consider. It might be helpful to draw up a list of all the pros and cons, in order to see more clearly what one stands to gain and lose by making either choice.

For women, if they change their last name after marriage and if they establish themselves professionally after marriage it is a difficult question for them to play with their identity. Most women who hold on to their married last names after divorce do not like to change it even if they opt for divorce. I think a woman earns her name, and she has a right to keep it apart from the marriage itself.

Preferably, 2 people will want to consider every possible approach in saving a marriage before deciding to disband it. Especially, if they can aid each other’s personal growth. The solution is to imagine or form some kind of picture of how one’s whole life might look as a result of making either decision. It can be disastrous to make a reckless choice on the basis of hurt feelings or anger. Then, ending marriage is not just a legal technicality; post divorce a person has to go through lot of emotional drain.  While not everyone experiences them to the same degree, there are knowable emotions that need to be recognized.

 When long-married couples are asked the formula for marital success, many identify patience as a key component. It’s the very important virtue for living together day after day in relative peace, without constant struggles to change the other to our liking. We all want our partner to change as per our liking. How can we live in a utopian world, when we ourselves lack ideal quality? Patience in marriage begins with the individual. Our daily routine gives us ample opportunity to practice patience, which we ignore for obvious reasons.

Many counselors agree that there are certain circumstances in which divorce may be the best answer. If one partner is abusive, addicted to alcohol or drugs, or extremely controlling, there may be no other option left. Even in these cases, if the partner is sincerely willing to seek help for their problem I think the partner deserves a chance. But, when partners have lost all sympathy or love for one another, and are dragging on it’s the end. When nothing is perfect in life, when we cannot define what perfect means, how can we dictate somebody to change? We tend to equate ‘perfect’ with ‘ideal’ and ideal is nothing but a preconceived notion. We all are programmed to seek an ideal life, an ideal spouse, ideal children, ideal parents, ideal childhood, ideal teachers, ideal jobs, ideal outing, ideal neighbors etc, etc, etc. Do those things exist? Not really. They’re only ideal in our minds. Some things may come close but it all depends how imaginative a person is. Nothing in reality can meet the high bar our mind goes on creating.

I think when difficult passages occur in marriage, it needs some time to pass away. Couples that are still together have faced several difficulties. They sort them out before they get out of control. I read this somewhere – start your marriage with an empty jar and fill it with notes about good things that happen. Then, on your yearly anniversary open it to see all the good things from your first year of marriage.

A research in Michigan State University confirms that married people, particularly married men, live significantly longer than their single friends. Doctors at Harvard have shown that married patients were more likely to identify cancer in its early stages and less likely to die from the disease than their unmarried peers. So friends, it is worth keeping the institution of marriage alive.