Social scientists have shown in many studies for past few decades that caring touch can have good effects in several different mental and physical problems. Consider this case: a doctor hugged his patient who survived a complicated surgery of six hours; when the patient regained his consciousness after surgery, the doctor felt so happy, he gave the patient a gentle hug.   

A hug is a universal and widely accepted ways to show our affection and love. It communicates many emotions that words fail to express. There are different types of hugs that express different emotions. When you feel low, angry, distressed, or sad, a quick squeeze or hug is all you need to lift your mood.

Hugging helps lower our stress throughout the day. Hugging a person is one of the most natural and emotional physical touches one can have with others. It gives us a sense of security and makes us feel loved and cared for. There are many different types of hugs one can coddle in; few are romantic while others are just friendly, they are emotional and supportive. For example, a side hug is friendly; hugging from behind portrays intimacy; in a friendly hug two people engage in arm-hug; hugging around the waist is romantic; a bear hug is for warmth; one-sided hug shows caring.  And there are many unseen benefits of hugging; the biggest is boosting of dopamine hormone which is ‘feel good’ hormone and in case of loving hug, oxytocin hormone boosts feeling of love.

Research shows that hugs can be healthy. Hugs cause a decrease in the release of cortisol, a stress hormone, and another research indicates that hugs decrease our blood pressure and heart rate in stressful situations. The stress-reducing effects of hugging keeps us healthier. In a study of over 400 adults, researchers found that hugging reduces the percentage of falling sick. From childhood to old age people who are hugged by near and dear ones stay healthy.

According to one study, it takes merely 7 seconds of a hug for our brain to signal the release of oxytocin hormone that is associated with, amongst other things, increased levels of trust, calmness, and creativity. Hugging often creates a feeling of calmness and relaxation. That’s because of oxytocin which is sometimes called the “cuddle hormone.” Oxytocin is released when people or pets snuggle up or bond socially. This release can have a domino effect throughout the body and has been found to reduce inflammation, improve wound healing, it lessens cravings for drugs, alcohol, and sweets and lowers heart rate and stress. Domino effect is a situation in which one event causes a series of related events, one following another.

Getting a firm, reassuring hug before or during a stressful event, such as waiting to receive the results of a medical test, waiting for an examination result, waiting to receive a near and dear one at station, can help you stay calm because your oxytocin levels remain elevated.  A hug a day may, in fact, keep the doctor away.

They make us happier. An assuring hug is much better than gulping anti-depressants. Hugging triggers the release of serotonin in the brain to create happiness and ease sadness.  They Help deepen our relationships. As human, we automatically want to hug those we know are in pain. In many ways, hugs are a form of meditation. They allow us to be present in the moment, to let go and flow with the energy of the embrace. It’s easy to forget how meaningful a hug can be, but it can truly deepen your connection with another person. Hugs convey, in a nonverbal way, an understanding of each other.

Humans and dogs have been together since primitive times, and both have a primal need for physical touch. All monkeys, from chimpanzees to Japanese macaques (snow monkeys) to humans, are hard-wired to console others and transmit affection by hugging. Even a reptile, a hen, and a fish look enjoy some human affection. Bears, koalas, deer, elephant, and even birds such as parrots, crows, pigeons, sparrows, peacocks love human touch. Indian scientist Jagadish Chandra Bose showed that plants can experience sensations and feel pleasure and pain. Like birds and animals, plants also respond to human touch.  

Don’t underestimate the healing power of a hug. Just as we exercise to stay in shape and diet to stay healthy, we should make the effort to stay connected to the people. We can never get enough hugs. They are priceless gifts of unconditional love because a hug communicates a thousand words.

“Actions speak louder than words,” is one of the most famous maxims. Yet whether this is true or not depends on what we understand by the word “louder.” Making a promise to someone without thinking how you will fulfil it just reflects how casual or unrehearsed you are about your own words. I think making a promise is one of the most powerful forms of communication. Yet, frankly speaking, how many times do we make vows that we can’t possibly keep? As humans we put our faith in promises made by others. So our politicians, business leaders, our teachers, parents, neighbours, friends, siblings, children so many make promises which help us negotiate peace and hope in our lives and yet how many times does a person really mean the promise made must not be broken.

I am sure most us must have heard from the seniors around us like our grandparents, our parents talk about those faraway times when honouring a promise was utmost imperative, people then never compromised with their words. It did not matter whether they promised something trivial or something very big, but people fulfilled what they promised. It shows how strong the social fabric was those days.

The history proves how most famous people have broken their promises. Woodrow Wilson won re-election in 1916 with the slogan “He kept us out of war” only to enter World War I a year later. While the loss of trust can lead to anti-incumbency, it also creates intangible cleavages in the institution of democracy.

In 2017 Donald Trump promised to lower the corporate tax rate and bring in huge tax cuts for working Americans. The Republican tax plan passed in December 2017, and it largely ticks the box for the president although its merits are hotly disputed. He has had to compromise on his pledge to bring corporation tax down from 35% to 15% (it will be 21% instead).

In India, the Indians do not take the election manifestos seriously; Indian voters are accustomed to the lure of grand promises made once every five years by the political parties….they struggle their way through the debris of broken promises.

In the recent election of 2019, the ruling political party has failed us in creating jobs for the youngsters, education and skill development for youth has featured prominently in its manifesto but hardly any noticeable steps taken. The Modi government has also been trumpeting about its flagship schemes, such as Skill India, in helping job-seekers attain skills for a 21st century job market, but, we are yet to see the youth employment fulfilled.  

We make and we break promises because some promises are very hard to keep we hear the builders, plumbers, electricians, carpenters saying “I’ll come back tomorrow.” But the truth is the other way…tomorrow comes after few days always. They won’t come back until next week, fortnight, month.

We love hearing secrets and we happily make this promise. And at the time we really mean it. ‘Don’t worry,’ we say, ‘your secret is safe with me.’ But of course it isn’t. Research shows that everybody will always tell one other person the secret. Very soon the whole street will know it!

“This won’t hurt.” Is a favourite phrase from doctors, dentists and nurses….they usually say it just before they give you an injection. But the phrase is not complete, without some ah, ooh, ouch..

We make new friends on holidays, long travels or on a train journey, we swap e-mail addresses, phone numbers and we make this promise of keeping in regular touch with them. Six months later you find a name and e-mail address on a card or an old piece of paper. ‘Oh dear!’ you think – but then you remember that they didn’t write to you either.

‘I’ll pay you back tomorrow.’ In Hamlet, Shakespeare told us never to borrow or lend money. He was right. When we lend people money they always make this promise but then they forget. If we then ask for the money back, they tag us as mean. If we don’t ask, we never get our money back.

And the worst, ‘I’ll always love you.’ Lovers must trust each other for a relationship to thrive. Their faith in each other’s promises and subsequent marriage is what sustains their faith in the relationship and in each other. Most couples agree that automatic trust is not a guarantee. It must be earned on a continuing basis. The shade of love starts fading away slowly in relationships. 

There are multiple levels of broken promises that create different reactions in different people. Some can be potential deal breakers, like repeated addictive escapes, infidelities, or anything else that is hidden from the other partner and might risk his or her consent were it to be known. When those breaches of trust are repeated, many cherished relationships just cannot survive.

Most broken promises are not intentional, motivated by meanness, or routinely repeated. Promises are confessions of intent, large and small, that mark a wide range of interpersonal events be it friendship, marriage, employment or business partnership. A specific behavior toward another is expected. Promises require us to declare a conscious objective: we will never do the thing the other person does not want us to do. But people have so many out-of-awareness thoughts and feelings, we may not “know” of our unconscious inaptness about a stated commitment. There are a number of commonly understood reasons promises are broken, including that our feelings, capacity, or circumstances keep changing over time. 

Your word is your bond. In this big fake world, today also there are individuals who keep their words; because for them keeping their word is of special significance. Remember this -every time you give your word, you are putting your honour on the line.

Nostalgia is defined with variation these days. It was once considered a medical condition similar to homesickness. The word derives from the Greek “nostos” (return) and “algos” (pain), suggesting suffering due to a desire to return to a place of origin. But, lately nostalgia is considered to be an independent and even positive emotion that many people experience often. We all experience nostalgia sometimes – some fragrance reminds of a near and dear’s   scent; a tune on radio reminds of some happy moment in a party; a road reminds of a beautiful travel yes, it brings back happy memories. Nostalgia is said to have many functions, but those functions have not truly been defined or explicitly stated. Several research articles have determined some of these meanings of nostalgia: improved mood, increase social connectedness, enhanced self esteem, and increased confidence. Many nostalgic manifestations serve more than one function at a time, and overall seem to benefit those who experience them. As time and research has moved on, evidence suggests that, if used in moderation, nostalgia is good psychological medicine.

Nostalgia does have its painful side as well:  it’s a bittersweet emotion but the net effect is to make life seem more meaningful and death less frightening. When people speak thoughtfully of the past, they typically become more optimistic and inspired about the future. I suppose every experience has something to teach us. You will see so many people around you who loves to tell the stories of when they scored the final touchdown in that championship games; they like to talk about how they met their life partners; how they got their jobs; how their children were naughty so on and forth. Is that person you? Still digging in the past?

This is a subject many psychologists are thinking these days. Nostalgia, compared to control conditions, increases self-esteem as well as perceptions of meaning in life. By allowing people to revisit cherished life experiences, nostalgia boosts positive self-image and promotes the feeling that life is full of meaning and purpose. Nostalgia increases perceptions of social connectedness. Nostalgia is therefore good psychological medicine.

When people grow nostalgic, they become happier. For example, in the psychology session, when people are asked to reflect on experiences, objects, or songs from the past that they are nostalgic about, positive mood increases. This makes sense because when we analyze the content of people’s nostalgic episodes we find that they are mostly positive. In fact nostalgia is more than just a mood boost though. It also increases self-esteem and perceptions of meaning in life. This explains the championship game story phenomenon. Many nostalgic experiences are connected to personal accomplishments and momentous life events. Life is not a series  of one success after another. Our daily existence can often be tedious and sometimes depressing. Using nostalgia, we can inject some meaning and excitement into life. Nostalgia involves conjuring up the experiences that stick out as worthwhile and fulfilling.

Nostalgia fosters feelings of belongingness: Nostalgia isn’t just about the self. It is also about our relationships. When people engage in nostalgia, they feel more connected to others. For example, one study finds that most nostalgic episodes are social and having people engage in nostalgia makes them feel close to and loved by others. The past experiences, objects, movies, and music we love are often anchored in social contexts and thus remind us that we are able to form and maintain relationships and that people do care about us.

So when are we most nostalgic? Based on many researches, it’s observed that people turn to nostalgia in situations that cause negative mood, solitude, and meaninglessness. Nostalgia can be directly induced by providing consumers with products they are nostalgic for (e.g., 80s-inspired clothing, music, and toys). However, it is when we are psychologically vulnerable or threatened that we naturally turn to nostalgia.

So next time you feel a little down and alone, try nostalgia. Don’t be ashamed of your nostalgic instincts. Rewind your memories of school days, first love, championship, terror movie, and little fights, everything that brings a smile on your face. You are reaping the psychological rewards of being in touch with your past.