Empathy and sympathy are two terms that are often used interchangeably. But only one of them allows people to connect deeper than surface level that is empathy. According to the American Psychology Association Dictionary of Psychology, the definitions of sympathy and empathy are as follows:

When we sympathize with someone’s unfortunate situation, we feel bad for them. We have thoughts and feelings about what they are going through but we don’t have a deep understanding of how they are feeling. Empathizing with someone’s circumstances means we are taking the time, effort, and mental space to fully appreciate and understand how they feel. Empathy is a regularly used, but poorly understood, concept. It is confused with related words such as sympathy, pity, mercy, understanding etc. In older times, in my individual childhood and youth it was common practice, we younger people would pay respect to older people and kids, if a neighbour or known person required help, we would rush to help. Wishing pleasantries was common etiquette then. These small deeds kept a community unified and safe. We were more empathetic. Somehow, I cannot use words just to sympathise with somebody. I hate lip sympathy which is expressed in words but that is not shown in actions.

The term “attention seeker” is often used to refer to someone who constantly wants and actively seeks sympathy from others. This behaviour can be evidently seen in various ways, such as constantly sharing personal problems, amplifying difficulties, or using emotional manipulation to gain sympathy. And we see drama of some people who sympathise for the sake of lip sympathy.

When we practice empathy, we dive into the depth of other’s emotions and imagine ourselves in their situation. It is not about how we feel about their experience but rather we are putting ourselves in their shoes, imagining going through what they’re going through and feeling their emotions.

Empathy is shown in how much compassion and understanding we can give to another. Sympathy is more of a feeling of pity for another. Empathy is our ability to understand how someone feels while sympathy is our relief in not having the same problems. Expressing sympathy can seem like saying, ‘I am sorry for you,’ ‘I wish I could do something for you,’ ‘God’s not ben fair with you’ etc…etc.  But expressing empathy feels more like, I understand what you are going through, I want to help you, tell me what can I do for you?

Although both words are used in situations that involve emotions, they cannot be used interchangeably as they have different meanings. The main difference between sympathy and empathy is how we express and experience our emotions toward someone’s situation. 

For instance, if your friend tells you that their dog recently passed away, you sympathize by saying “I’m sorry for your loss.” But if you empathize, you will imagine yourself losing a beloved pet and feeling the grief and loss that come with that experience.

Uninvited Advice vs. Active Listening: When people empathise, they listen carefully, they understand the problem and try to plug it. Sympathizing does not involve feeling emotions; therefore, when we hear about someone’s problem, we immediately feel the urge to fix it because we pity them. We start giving unsolicited advice, without going in depth of someone’s problem. It is easier to advise or give solution rather than validate someone’s experiences. While empathising, we connect deeply to other’s experience. We ask questions to understand, we practice active listening, read their facial expressions and body language and behave sensitively to their needs.

According to Edith Stein, a German phenomenologist (who studies phenomena), empathy can be facilitated. It also can be interrupted and blocked, but it cannot be forced to occur. Why is empathy so unique? According to Stein, empathy happens to us; it is indirectly given to us, it is elemental. When empathy occurs, we find ourselves experiencing it, but we cannot directly cause it to happen to us. This is the characteristic that makes the act of empathy exceptional and therefore it cannot be taught. Instead, promoting attitudes and behaviours such as self-awareness, tolerant, positively regard others, good listening skills, and self-confidence are suggested as important in the development of empathetic attitude. A lot of willingness is required in a person to develop empathetic approach.

The world today needs empaths, but only 1 to 2 percent of the population can feel and absorb the emotions surrounding them.  An empath is like a sponge that absorbs the people’s problems and takes them as his or her own. Empaths have a higher sensitivity to certain people, places, or sounds. Empaths try to help others wholeheartedly. 

The Unilever’s brand Dove has been around for 12 years, in its iconic marketing effort, in its recent campaign called “Dove Campaign for Real Beauty” which is in true sense another feel-good campaign, featuring women of different shapes and vocations talking about their looks and why the only perception of ‘their looking beautiful’ matters to the world and how it affects them.

According to the 2016 Dove Global Beauty and Confidence Report, which included interviews with 10,500 women across 13 countries, 54% of women said they have low body confidence, not being assertive, indecisiveness, due to low confidence in their appearance skipping job interviews, not claiming good ideas at work, or actively choosing not to pursue career promotion etc. This ad is breaking barriers and is challenging stereotypes about looks of women.

The society gives such a lot of importance to look of people, and it is time for society to start acknowledging accomplishments of women and goodness of women. Through the concept #MyBeautyMySay Dove inspires women everywhere to take a stand against judgments that belittles their accomplishments giving way to their ‘looks’. This beautiful campaign from Edelman, Havas, Ogilvy and PHD, is for women to define their own standards of beauty. The ad had a reach to about 19.4 million girls till date with self-esteem education, Dove has always been at the forefront of helping women and girls develop a positive relationship with beauty

Women can multitask, they can bring order in disarrayed things at home, and that’s why they are called home makers. The world likes good lookers and more so the tag of ‘beauty’ bothers the women at all stages of their lives. Most women believe that they are judged on their appearance. They therefore, spend a lot of their time, efforts and money on beauty products because that becomes their key to stand out in crowd. Friends, beauty business is a big industry. The truth is, being beautiful does not come from a lipstick tube, mascara wand, or blush brush or the foundation cream, but it comes from within. Some of the elements which make women most beautiful are:

Passion: A woman who has passion can never look dull. The biggest mistake women do, is when they neglect their passion; when they neglect that part of themselves. A hobby, an interest ignites life, keeps a person going. A woman who takes the time to follow her passions, whatever they may be, understands that life is too precious. Focusing on a hobby is a way to clear the mental palate.   A woman who follows her passion simultaneously, is certainly is admirable. It is nice to watch someone pursue her dreams; it is in fact the most beautiful experience human beings can have.

Compassion: However beautifully a woman is decked up, if she is cold-hearted, and only loves herself, she is the ugliest woman. If a woman is inept and does not feel for others, is not compassionate, all her physical beauty is waste. We see those self-absorbed attractive celebrities on the front covers of the magazines, people forget them after few years. Beauty is skin deep. A woman who understands how to give and receive love is much more desirable than a woman who has none to spare.

Has a mind of her own: A woman who uses her mind stands out. When a woman for the sake of her family neglects her intellect, it’s sad. I think neglecting one’s intellect is the worst crime against self. The pursuit of knowledge and truth is not only attractive, but essential to our existence. Knowledge is empowerment. Dr. Kadambini Ganguly and Dr. Anandi Gopal Joshi were the first Indian female physicians, trained in Western Medicine. They looked very charming because of their accomplishments.  Their ability to rise above circumstances and to realize their potentials made them look splendid.

Joyful spirit: Women should never lose their joyful spirit. A laughing, joyful woman is welcome everywhere. No one likes to sit in company of sulking person. Disappointments are part and parcel of life. But there is so much more which need not be overlooked. The point is, a sense of adventure and appreciation for all that life has to offer is more attractive. Spontaneity adds to the facevalue; taking the child for a walk, or singing a favorite song loudly, watching a comedy serial or cooking a favorite dish – so much can be done to add the extra tinge to life.

Resilience: A woman with resilience is loved by all. The world admires fighters. I think nothing is more beautiful than a woman who refuses to give up. Tenacity, whether in one’s career, marriage, or physical health, is highly inspiring. Resilience is about believing that life can never defeat unless one allows herself to become defeated. Accepting the worst or the best in equal stride is so uplifting. The movie ‘Dangal’gives the hair raising experience in the movie halls to the viewers for the resilience shown by Geeta and Babita (the Phogat sisters).  The film makes the audience aware of the struggles and achievements of the Phogat sisters. Its inspiring story for all women.

Confidence: There is thin line between bragging and confidence. The face tells it all. Confident woman stand out in crowd. Confidence is about a woman looking poised for her own assurance about her knowledge, her strategies, and her style of execution, her looks, and the way she speaks, stands and talks.   A confident woman doesn’t need other people’s support to help her feel the pride in herself. Confident women are more appealing than a women who continually seeks others’ approval.

Liveliness: I think energetic women look most beautiful, Liveliness sets them apart from others.  An energetic woman has a matchless vitality for life is and she should be idolized for it. When a woman follows her passion, shows compassion, pursues her intellect, keeps a sense of adventure, refuses to give up, and believes herself to be worthy, she is admired and followed ubiquitously.

As women, our sense of confidence derives typically from our beliefs and attitudes about ourselves and our life experiences.  When we look in the mirror, our inner beliefs color how we view our outer look. The more authentically confident we feel inside, the more favorably we see ourselves outside. Beauty lies within.