Trust the lies

A374All of us at some point or another talk lie. Why do we lie? For a number of reasons; and many times we lie even about our reasoning. Just count one day from morning till night how many lies you have spoken. Also, how we get that ‘plastic’ smile accompanied to the lies we speak. At the drop of hat, we get those tears in eyes, we demonstrate the irritation in a jiffy, we are all actors – if one full day in our life is captured in a camera we might give the professional actors a tough competition. Sometimes we’re not even aware that we’re lying until someone (a close friend, a sibling or parents) points it out.

A375Researchers have been studying deception for decades, trying to figure out why we tell lies. We spin facts and make up fictions for all sorts of reasons. We do this time and again for no great reasons; it might be for protecting somebody, to project a better picture about ourselves, to make a person feel better, to cover some boring time, we do it for many odd reasons without any logic but the fact is we talk lies both consciously and unconsciously. Our capacity for deceit appears nearly endless. We go on weaving stories after stories and every time we keep consoling ourselves – that it’s OK. After all, we lied for so and so reason, and we have not done a big harm to anybody. We even lie to ourselves about how much food we eat, how many hours we slept, how much time we wasted, how we have procrastinated, when something was not required still we bought it – so you see we all live in lire’s paradise happily.

How would you define “white lie”? Half truth; exaggeration; amplification; extension; strengthening I am sure, we will find so many pseudo words to for the word white lie.  Truth is tough. It’s overwhelming and it’s often discomforting. Truth is therefore bitter.

A376I think, we forget one most important thing – the foundation for our relationship depends on how much trust we build; our ability to talk truth, and to accept truth.

Many professionals say that there is no much difference between a little lie (white lie) and a big lie. Anything that is not perfect or precise is a lie. You can argue that a lies done to make someone else feel better is relatively minor. But they have an effect. And though the effect may not be seen glaringly, but somewhere it does affect the day to day relation between two people, behaviour, or attitude of someone. The bottom line is that a lie is a lie. What is not true is a degraded version of a reality.

Do white lies/exaggerations/amplifications have positive psychological effects? Researchers have found that when people exaggerate about their performance in professional or personal lives, their narrative, in other words, becomes self-fulfilling. “Exaggerators tend to be more confident and have higher goals for achievement,” explains Richard Gramzow, a psychologist at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and one of the study’s co-authors. “Positive biases about the self can be beneficial.”

People who deceive themselves also tend to be happier than people who do not; their happiness keeps themA378 mentally and physically fitter. Socially their images are augmented, giving their self-worth a boost. Studies have shown that people who lie frequently are friendlier than their thoughtful counterparts. They are spirited than the ones who will talk the truth but are drawn and are rigid. Don’t we all appreciate the heroes and heroines in cinemas telling those sweet little lies here and there to get his/her way around; and we all appreciate it on the silver screen.

Lying begins early. By the age of 3, most children know how to fib, they do it impulsively and we find it cute. And, by 6, most lie a few times a day. Experts believe that children learn to lie by observing their parents talking and getting away with lies. They learn and practice lying by emulating their elders.

And what about the fairy tales that we all tell the children or we heard as children – aren’t they lies told by somebody? As we grow, the majority of us face the harsh realities of life. Amplifying the truth is a natural component of human instinct because it’s the easy way out.  We all do it, so there is no reason to deny it.  Honestly, I think the world is probably a better place because of our white lies.

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A Professor with 15 years of teaching and 20 years industry experience. My core teaching areas are Marketing Strategy and General Management. While I am a Professor of Marketing and General Management, I have also worked as Director of few Management Institutes in Mumbai. I am a research guide in Mumbai University, SNDT University and YCMOU (Yashwantrao Chawan Maharashtra Open University, Nasik) 6 students have got their PhD degree under my guidance so far, and 11 students are registered for their PhD with me. Research is my passion, and I work on live projects from the industry. I strongly believe that the principal goal of research is to discover new knowledge, while that of teaching is to impart well-established knowledge and provide training in problem-solving. At present I am working as a Director for a Center of Excellence with an 80 years old Educational institution in Mumbai. I am a results-driven researcher, qualified with a PhD in Marketing Management from Pune University, a Post Doctoral Degree D.Litt from Mumbai University. I have authored above 100 articles and research which are published in news papers, business magazines and research journals. I have also authored two books. I am appointed as a Senate Member in Swami Ramanand Teertha Marathwada University, Nanded as the Maharashtra Governor’s nominee. Today we need greater industry-academia collaboration in research in institutes of higher education. I am confident that I will be able to facilitate the organizations with my research skills to create, integrate, and apply advancements in tricky areas. Thus, in my own way I could collaborate between industry and academia. I am curious, responsible, knowledgeable person with a scholarly approach.

4 COMMENTS

  1. Nowadays it is very rare to see people speaking truth . Everyone resorts to lie for some reason or the other. The virtues of speaking truth always, honesty are slowly being extinct as we are making successful progression leading to fierce competition . This is one of the biggest reason (survival in the rat race) that people are adopting unfair ways & means, In school we learnt about”Lawyers are Liars: but now this is applicable to most of us. I fear there will be a time when speaking truth will be restricted to Moral Science & Value Education . Its time we wake up and realise the importance of this noble virtue. Thank you

  2. My favorite topic…provoked many more thoughts in my mind…trying to express and pen them with your kind permission, Madam.
    Truth is Universal and permanent. A Lie can be transformed , shielded by a chain of many other lies. A single lie can break a life long relationship or it can malign the character of a person. No matter if the person is powerful , rich, highly respected or an intellectual scholar. A Lie is always sugar coated and can be easily spoken in a fraction of a second whereas truth is sometimes bitter and direct. It needs few moments to come on lips.
    We can strongly and confidently say the truth whereas to lie, we have to fake the confidence and we need to build the strength to make the listener believe in us. A lair tries to avoid direct eye contact while explaining himself/ herself. Most of the time lies are spoken to shield ourselves, hide our inconsistency, maintain our image, save a loving relation, protect other relations or to achieve something which seems to be out of reach .
    A WHITE Lie is GOOD :- if it benefits many, If it is selfless and achieving good constructive results in long run.

  3. Very nice article ” Trust the lies”
    All of us in our life we tell lies some or the other time, for some reason, truth is never digestive easily, bitter but it will never harm any one or spoil some one habit. truth always prevail but one should have the trust and patience on the creator of this world.

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