Talk less, listen more
People who can balance speaking and listening are usually successful in handling relationships and are rarely misunderstood. Each word has a meaning and a value hence they should be used very prudently. Useless words only create noise. When we use them foolishly, or throwing them aimlessly just to grab someone’s attention we only create a commotion and it really does not help in making a healthy communication. Talk less, listen more is a golden rule for peaceful life.
It is said that despite being the 16th President of the U.S. who was considered as a towering figure Abraham Lincoln believed in using condensed communication, though he was a great communicator and he never offended people. The founder of Virgin Air, Richard Branson believes in talking less and listening more.
Listen to what somebody is saying; listening is a life skill which helps you avoid misunderstanding. Listening is important because it prevents misinterpretation in communication, when you listen carefully it clarifies the message more precisely and can help reduce the amount of frustration for the speaker. Listening is a skill that is required for all types of communication. When somebody is talking, avoid interrupting verbally. Please remember that while we listen we keep giving non-verbal feedback through our facial expressions, our nodding, our humming to the person we are listening to. When pauses occur in the natural flow of the conversation, we get impatient and we feel that it’s our responsibility to instantly fill the void, which is not correct.
To be honest, we don’t really listen to someone when they are talking, instead we are only thinking about what to say next or what we want to talk. We eagerly wait for the person talking to finish. When someone asks a question, do we answer them to the point? A learned and refined person gives very little about himself to the conversation. Whereas, most people forget that words have power, they have energy because they vibrate. So, speaking too much enlarges the power within and it affects our ability to focus. The more we speak the more our mind wanders as a result it becomes increasingly difficult to control our thoughts.
If we look around carefully, we will notice that people who speak less accomplish more; trust me, this is a universal truth. I have seen that successful people are good listeners and judicious speakers. We need to take control of ourselves when the urge to speak comes up. We must stop it, this can be done only with practice. God has given us two ears and one mouth, and we must distribute our energies to use them accordingly; we must listen twice as much as we speak. It is better to keep practicing and keep the ears and mouth ratio in mind.
The people who are the most intelligent are actually the ones you would least expect to be smart. They patiently wait for other people to say what they need to say. They choose to open their ears rather than their mouths. The quietest people are the smartest people. They talk less and have smart brains. These are the introverts. They’re the creative types, the geniuses who get stimulation from learning rather than mingling. They are a bit difficult to get noticed: they prefer to fly under the radar, silently producing the best work and the most incredible art.
Every time you have a conversation with someone, talk for three to five minutes, then allow the other person an equal amount of time to express his/her thoughts. Listen patiently, avoid your strong and inevitable desire to interrupt the person talking. Rather, develop your skills in asking good questions. Also, avoid the one word answer – the yes, no, uh huh, yeah etc. If you can’t think of anything, consider the possibility that you weren’t listening closely enough and work on improving that skill. Develop the habit of backtracking after you had a conversation with somebody. Recall the kinds of things you just said. Do you find yourself repeating what you have already said? Could those things you said be phrased another way? Did you overstate your point? Did you hurt somebody unnecessarily? If yes, then it is time you try to find condensed and conciseness in the words you choose. The word ‘listen’ contains the same letters as the word ‘silent.’